


Let's Be Stupid Together

by LittleBitGrump



Category: Arin Hanson - Fandom, Barry Kramer - Fandom, Dan Avidan - Fandom, Dan AvidanxOriginal Character, Danny Sexbang - Fandom, Game Grumps, Ross O'Donovan - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-09
Updated: 2015-02-09
Packaged: 2018-03-11 06:05:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3316925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleBitGrump/pseuds/LittleBitGrump
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Alice leaves her hometown and county in search of a new adventure half way across the world, will she finally be able to escape the demons of her past with the help of a fluffy haired boy she meets? Or will she shut him out like she does everyone else?<br/>Danny x character cutsey fluff stuff.<br/>***This is still an ongoing story***</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I took a deep breath as I fixed my gaze on my mother one last time. Her perfectly coifed and styled blonde bob was blowing slightly in the wind and she flapped at it irritated whilst still barking orders into the mobile phone glued to her ear. My 15 year old younger sister Bethany was too, attached to her phone, furiously bashing the buttons on her keyboard, completely oblivious to the fact that her only sister was about to board a plane to the US and indefinitely never see her again.

“Mum?” I tried and she shot a hardened glare at me before she remembered where she was.

“I have to go, call me back” she spat and snapped her phone shut.

“Well…this is it then I suppose” I said awkwardly. Her face didn’t give even a hint of emotion as she shuffled forward and gave me the most awkward, obligatory hug she could muster before letting go quickly and patting my arm in the patronising way you usually do to distant family members you meet at weddings. I would’ve liked to have held on a little longer, and breathed in her expensive Chanel scent one more time but she was already fumbling in the expensive bag hung over her shoulder.

“Bethany say goodbye to your sister” She muttered, head still in her bag as she rummaged around for something. Bethany rolled her eyes, obviously irritated at being dragged away from her ‘oh so important’ social life for the grand total of 60 seconds to say goodbye to her flesh and blood. “Bye loser” she mumbled, not looking up from her phone. I reached forward and ruffled her expensively highlighted and carefully straightened her much to her annoyance.

“Bye pipsqueak, don’t forget you do actually have a real life that doesn’t exist over social media while I’m gone” I smirked. She shot me a death glare as she checked her hair in her front view phone camera. As much of a moody little bitch she could be, I still loved her in a weird way. We had absolutely nothing in common whatsoever, and I’m absolutely convinced someone swapped one of us at birth in the hospital because we are so obviously unrelated, but she was still my little sister. She definitely took after my mother. Blonde, straight hair, blue eyes, slightly tan (despite the shitty British weather) and always with a permanent scowl stuck on her snobby little face. I took after my father apparently, pale skin, bright green eyes, and dark chocolate brown hair that fell in slight waves. Yep, totally the odd one out in my family. People always assume I’m adopted since I look nothing like any of my relatives, but the reality is that I was a total mistake. The result of the one and only time my stick-up-her-butt mother did something reckless and crazy and spent a night with a local, dark, handsome and mysterious boy. And for 24 years I had been a painful reminder to my mother of this burst of rebellion and regret; something that she had managed to drill into my head the entire time, like somehow it was my fault. When she’d found out she was pregnant she’d immediately gone to the police and reported my father for sexually assaulting her, resulting in him receiving a restraining order to never come near me or my mother before I was even born. The bitch won’t even tell me anything about him. Other than he was a traveller from Ireland. Apparently he’d left contact information with someone from my family but nobody would reveal anything to me, other than when an auntie at Christmas one year had too much red wine and accidentally let slip his name; Gailan. I feel like I should resent my mother completely, and spent many of my teenage years doing just that, but now that I’m about to leave the only life I’ve ever known (and hated) behind me, I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness in my heart that I was about to venture into the world completely alone.

“Come on then Alice, stop daydreaming, you’ll miss your flight otherwise” my mother chided, not hiding the fact that my departing was taking up valuable business time. I hitched the shoulder bag higher up on my shoulder and extended the handle on my wheeled suitcase. I swept my eyes over the pair of them for the last time, trying to burn this image into my brain forever of the only family I’ve ever known.

“Well, goodbye mum and Beth, I’ll give you a text when I land I guess” I said with a sad smile. My mother flapped her hand in the direction of the airport doors, her eyes already sliding towards the phone which had started to ring again in her hand. Bethany flicked her eyes up at me one more time to force a quick twitch upwards of her lips before returning to her phone screen. I sighed and turned and started walking towards the sliding doors of Heathrow airport which loomed dauntingly up ahead. As I reached them I threw one last glance over my shoulder to give them both a final wave. They were already walking back towards the car, my mother’s phone back against the side of her head whilst her other extended in exaggerated movements in line with her conversation. I looked up at the gloomy, overcast sky above me one last time. This was definitely something I would not miss, the great British weather. I turned back and walked through the doors, the warm air conditioning washing over me completely, brushing away my last sad thoughts of my family. California, here I come.


	2. II

Having checked in and gotten through the security gates of the airport I’d dropped off my suitcase before settling in the corner of an airport Starbucks, my battered converse trainers up on the seat next to me, my knees poking out of the rips in my grey acid-washed skinny jeans. I sipped on my vanilla latte as I fished my laptop out of my side bag and flipped up the bright purple lid and waited for it to power up. I tapped my chipped black nails on the table beside me as I waited and was met with an angry look over the top of a newspaper from an expensively suited man on the table opposite me. I couldn’t seem to escape the looks of disapproval from any of the British public, no matter where I went.

My laptop screen finally loaded up with a silly picture of me and my old best friend Jade. I smiled sadly as the ghosts of previous laughs and secrets we’d shared skipped across my lips and my head flooded with our memories. It was weird; since she died in a car accident three years ago, all my memories of her gained a fuzzy, sepia tone, like a highly-edited Instagram filter my sister was so fond of using. It was like every trace of her had been left in the sun too long and the colour had become faded and over-exposed, and everything was blurred. I could still hear her wicked giggles echoing through my head whenever I thought of her, and remembered the Saturday afternoon we’d spent on an old blanket in an empty field on a beautifully sunny day many summers ago (something very rare in England). I could still faintly taste the cheap, old-fashioned glass bottles of cherryade she’d brought with her which we’d sipped laying side by side, discussing everything we wanted in our futures; boys, jobs, road trips…but most importantly our dream of just one day packing up all our shit and jumping on the first plane out of dreary England and into sunny California.

I was ashamed it had taken me so long to gather up enough courage to finally make the move by myself, but after she’d died the idyllic perfect dream we’d built together suddenly seemed incredibly daunting and terrifying to a lonely 21 year old. She’d always been my other half. As stupid as it sounded, she completed me; she was the yin to my yang. We were polar opposites from the outset, she was outgoing and lively, I was shy and awkward, but she brought out the best in me, and I her. She could give me the confidence to open myself to anyone and would often find the two of us would be the centre of attention equally, and I could talk and laugh just as loudly as she did. And in return, I could draw her in when she became too much of a handful, and was there to stop her making stupid mistakes, or alternatively be there to pick up the pieces when she did make them. Since she’d gone I’d regressed even more, and lost that bubbly, confident side of myself all the people around us had loved. When she passed people still continued to invite me to parties and to hang out, but I couldn’t return to that person any more. The invites carried on for a while, out of pity I expect, but after my continued rebuffs they eventually stopped. In all truthfulness I didn’t mind. I became the cliché social hermit, preferring to stay home in my own company. I didn’t attempt to keep any contact with friends because nobody could replace Jade, and I didn’t want them to. Instead I stayed home, drinking too much coffee, smoking too many cigarettes and spending too much time being a nerd on the internet. The old me just seemed a distant dream now. The part of me that had died the day my best friend did.

I focused my attention back onto my laptop and opened up a YouTube page and typed ‘Markiplier’ into the search bar, before plugging in my earphones to save any more glares from Mr. Killjoy opposite and clicked onto his latest upload. I know, it’s lame, I’m almost 25 and I still nerd out over YouTubers like a teenage girl, but they make me laugh. He was playing a game with a few people whose names I’d heard mentioned before but didn’t really recognise. I chuckled softly on the lid of my coffee cup as Mark’s character took a dive off a tall building and he exploded into laughter. I searched after for a few couple of PewDiePie and JackSepticEye uploads (because of the soothing Irish accent I imagined sounded similar to my father’s) before it was time to head towards the boarding gates. I packed my stuff up and dumped my cold, drained coffee cup in the bin before I strolled through the airport to Gate 12. The woman raised an eyebrow as she scanned my appearance and compared it to my passport photo. It had been taken not long before Jade died, and the girl in the photo looks happier, healthier and has some sort of colour to her cheeks and sparkle in her eye. Now all there remains is an even paler, skinnier, shell of the previous person, but with a small hint of familiarity in the features. The addition of the nose ring and the septum piercing I’d had didn’t help, they made me look harder and less approachable, but that was the desired effect. I wanted people to leave me alone. I wanted to go past unapproachable and alone.

The woman eventually handed my passport back to me and I made my way onto the plane and towards my seat, row 21, seat B. A window seat, thank god. I stored my overhead luggage, but not before I grabbed my laptop and charger, earphones, a book and an eye mask. I settled into my seat, being one of the first early few, before slipping my laptop onto my lap again and opening it back up. I plugged the headphones back in and opened up the folder containing all the Sons of Anarchy episodes I’d loaded on there for in-flight entertainment. I pressed play on Episode 1 and slipped my phone out of my hoodie pocket.

_'Well I’m on the plane waiting to take off. I’m so excited to be leaving this shitty place behind but really nervous at the same time! Can’t wait to start my new life though, wish me luck!_

_P.S, I still miss you, you should be here. ___

_Ally <3'_

I still send texts to Jade’s phone; I have done since she died. Her parents knew, and they’d turned off her phone so that I didn’t become a brutal reminder. To this day I still hold onto the hope that one day I’ll receive a sassy reply back, and I still signed off each text with the nickname I’d only allowed her to call me, but of course it remained silent. I can’t fathom how many texts I’ve sent over the years, totally ranging in tone; desperately sad at first, to anger, then sadness, until eventually I just texted as if she were still alive. She’d become my diary, to record all my inner grief and thoughts, and she listened intently albeit quietly. It was a weird therapy for me somehow; an unhealthy one from the outlook, since I was still talking to my dead best friend, but it had stopped me from going totally insane. If anyone were to turn on her phone and be bombarded with these ramblings I’d be sanctioned for sure.

As the plane slowly filled up and got ready to take off (an elderly man sat next to me but thankfully just gave me a polite smile and didn’t try to engage in any more awkward British conversation) I felt the butterflies in my stomach churn into a frenzy when the engines kicked in. This was my first time on a plane, and hopefully the last time I would ever be on English soil again. The plane started to roll down the runway and I couldn’t help but silently panic as I thought we’d run out of tarmac before the plane took off and we’d end up crashing into the concrete barrier further ahead. Just as the butterflies in my stomach started fluttering so badly they threatened to escape up into my throat I felt the weightlessness of the nose of the plane as it ascended the sky and my panic was replaced with a wave of nausea over this new strange feeling. I closed my eyes shut tightly and sat up straight and rigidly, trying to force my head as far back into the cushioned seat as I could.

After what seemed like an eternity the odd angle seemed to level off and my stomach settled a bit and I found my chest had relaxed enough to expel a deep breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding. I dared to crack open my eye a tiny bit to peek out the window and noticed the sight of the surrounding planes and men in high-vis jackets and been replaced by green fields and tiny snaking roads running between them. The airport was already out of sight. I stared fascinated out of the window as wisps of cloud slithered past and eventually we rose above them, seemingly skimming them like a blanket of feathers. The butterflies had stopped and my heart had returned to a normal pace as we continued into the massive 11 hour flight and I found about 90 minutes in my head was dropping and my eyelids had become heavy. I slipped the earphones out of my ear and closed the laptop shut gently, before I snuggled further into my hoodie, pulling the sleeves down over my hands. I slipped the eye mask down over my eyes and rested my head to the side, and found it surprisingly easy to drift off to the quiet hum of the airplane engines and the sun-bleached images that danced through my head of a crazy blonde girl whose laughter rang and echoed through my head like tiny sleigh bells.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again edited on my tablet so if there are any mistakes please point them out ;_;  
> I'll also include images in the next chapter of what the characters look like in my head as accurately as I could find them. Thoughts/comments would be appreciated and I promise Danny will make an appearance soon ^^


	3. III

"Ladies and gentlemen we will soon be landing in California so if you could please remain seated, and ensure your seatbelts are fastened for the last remainder of this journey. I have been your captain for this flight and I hope you have had an enjoyable experience"  
The voice over the tannoy crept into my dreams and woke me up, and I excitedly yanked off the eye mask to get a glimpse of the view outside. The plane was slowly circling a big patch of land full of enormous buildings, which were bordered by a small puddle of bright blue sea that gently lapped at its sandy shores. I stretched out lazily, feeling every bone and muscle in my body crack and stretch with me. I'd somehow managed to sleep through almost the whole flight, only waking up a couple of times for a brief period to check the digital display time at the front of the cabin, before shutting my eyes again and going back to sleep. But now I was wide awake and sat up excitedly as I gazed at the small streak of land that was become bigger and bigger as the plane descended. It was incredibly sunny outside and I found I had to squint every time the plane circled into the path of the famously bright Californian sun. I shielded my eyes and rested my head against the window to get a better look below me of my new homeland. The plane eventually began to angle towards the runway and I felt my ears pop painfully due to the sudden change in air pressure. I was less nervous about landing this time now that dreary London was far behind me, and the American soil beckoned me closer and closer. The plane hit the tarmac of the airstrip with a heavy thud, and I could hear the squeal of the brakes as the plane shot towards the airport. It eventually slowed to a crawling pace before stopping, and the other passengers around me all began squirming and rising to their feet to gather their belongings at the same time. I stayed where I was, trying to crane my neck around the stationary planes of the airport to soak in as much of this new land as I could. When the plane was mostly empty of pushing men, women and children, I rose slowly to my feet, stretching again before reaching up into the overhead locker and retrieving my side bag (not that easy a feat considering my small 5"5 frame). I ambled up the aisle of the plane towards the back, and offered my politest smile to the attendant by the door who wished me a nice day with a flash of her pearly white teeth and candy pink lipstick. I made my way towards LAX baggage claim and switched on my phone as I waited for my suitcase to appear on the carousel. My phone just lay there silently in my hand; no beep or notification of any sort. Typical.  
I sent a quick text to my mother:  
 _'Just arrived, waiting for my suitcase now. They're right about the amount of sun they have over here' _. I pressed send and slipped my phone back into my pocket just as my battered suitcase slowly slipped into view, decorated with a collection of several different logos and stickers from various bands and TV shows. I moved forward to grab it and then pushed my way through a sea of people approaching from the opposite direction, obviously from a plane that had just gotten in.__  
Approaching the automatic doors I had to shield my eyes and squint against the penetrating rays from the sun as I walked out into the warm air. I stood still for a few moments to allow my eyes to adjust before I looked around outside the airport. There was a huge road running alongside the airport absolutely full of bright yellow taxi cabs rushing past. People hustled and bustled around me and there were a couple of large black cars and vans parked down towards one end, with a big group of men and women with large cameras stood around, obviously waiting for someone important or famous to exit the airport. I slipped past them and fumbled around in my pocket for the crumpled strip of paper with the address of the apartment I'd previously arranged to have rented. This was pretty risky move on my part, considering I had absolutely no idea what the place was like beside the photos I'd seen on the internet, so there was no telling how up to date or accurate they were. But never the less, it’d have to do considering the low budget I had.  
I cautiously approached one of the parked taxis and tapped the window.  
"Excuse me" I said, as loudly as I could so as to be heard over the roar of traffic, "do you go to Glendale?"  
"Sure thing!" the man replied in a chipper manner as we wound the window down, "jump in, I'll pop the trunk". I opened the back door of the cab and placed my bag inside as the cab driver exited the vehicle to help me with my suitcase.  
"It's fine, you really don't have to-" I started but the driver just flashed me a grin.  
"It's okay, I got it little lady, you get in" He insisted, hoisting my suitcase into the trunk with ease. I smiled at him warmly and sat down inside the car shutting the door after me. The driver got back in his seat and turned to face me.  
"So what's the address?" he asked. I held the note in front of my face to read the address.  
"321 East Fairview Avenue?" I said. The driver chuckled.  
"You British?" he asked. I smiled again.  
"Yes, I've just moved here" I replied, my heart beating happily as I said those words. He chuckled again.  
"Your accent's great! Which part of England were you from?”  
Despite my usual insistence on being left alone I couldn't help but smile again as we entered into a friendly conversation throughout the almost 45 minute drive to my new home. He was a very friendly driver, called Max, who'd lived in LA all his life, but would love to travel the world. When we finally pulled up outside a tall grey building I craned my neck again to examine the new place. It didn't look half bad, pretty much the same as the photo's I’d seen, with the odd small crack or chipped piece of stone you'd expect for any low rent place. Max hopped out the cab again to retrieve my suitcase before I could stop him, and set it down on the pavement beside me as I stepped out the car.  
“Well here ya go!” he exclaimed as I shuffled the notes in my purse to find the correct amount. I handed over the almost $50 the cab ride had cost, and placed an extra $20 into his hand as a tip.  
“Hey no, don’t worry about it! Keep your money, hasn’t anyone ever told you LA’s an expensive city?” he said trying to push the money back into my hands, but I wasn’t having it.  
“Take it, please. I don’t often experience niceness. Put it towards your traveling-the-world fund!” I replied, flashing him as big a smile as I could muster. He begrudgingly accepted it and whipped out a card from his pocket.  
“If you ever need a long cab ride again call this number and ask for me, I’d be more than happy to pick you up again!” he beamed. I promised him I would as I took it, and he honked his horn as he pulled away from the kerb and I stepped towards my new house. I’d been told by the owner to ring the bell of the downstairs tenant to get the key for the upper floor; a Mrs. Blackery. I pressed the buzzer and waited for a few moments as I heard shuffling from inside. An old woman opened the door a crack and scowled at me.  
“What do you want?” she snarled, her deathly glare looking me up and down. My upbeat mood from talking to Max immediately dropped as I looked back at her with a hardened look.  
“I was told to get a key from you? I’m Alice Winters, I’ve just rented upstairs” I replied coolly. Her frown deepened as she reached behind the door to pass me an envelope.  
“I hope you’re not going to be making too much noise upstairs, this is a nice neighborhood. I don’t need the likes of you young people ruining it with your loud music and drug parties” she said sourly. I forced a polite smile as I accepted the envelope and tore it open.  
“Don’t worry, I won’t. I don’t know anyone here, I’ve just moved here from the UK and-”  
The door slammed in my face. Bitch.  
I huffed and rolled my eyes as I fished out the key from the envelope and started lugging my suitcase up the narrow stairs at the end of the hallway. I reached the 3rd floor and came face to face with a slightly chipped, chestnut coloured door, with the ‘321’ standing out in gold metal letters. I slipped the key into the lock and after a few stiff tugs and turns, forced the door open and shuffled inside. I flipped the light switch next to me and the dim room lit up slightly. I placed my key and bag down on the small hall table beside me, and walked through into the living area. The guy wasn’t lying in his email when he said the place was basic. A slightly sagging, brown sofa sat in the middle of the room behind a small wooden coffee table on which a folded piece of paper sat. There was a small TV sat opposite it, with an empty bookcase behind it. The wallpaper was a slightly faded orange, not too offensive to the eye, and it at least made the room seem less depressing. The brownish yellow curtains were tightly drawn, and I walked open and yanked them open, before pushing open the window to get some air into the dank room. The horns of cars in the streets outside sounded faintly, but not loud enough to bug me. I walked through to the kitchen area that was attached to the living area by an arch, which was as small and cramped as I’d expected. The basics; a fridge, stove, kettle and rubbish bin. The place was too small for a proper table and chairs, so there was a breakfast bar with two battered stools that look like they’d been pulled from a dive bar somewhere, and probably were. The bathroom was equally small and basic, just a shower, sink and toilet, with a mirrored cabinet on the wall. I’d miss having baths like I did at home, but I guess this was fine until I finally saved up enough money to get a better, more permanent place. I opened the final door to my room, which had a small bed pushed into the corner, a small desk and wooden chair beside it, and a battered armoire with a mirrored door.  
Nothing about the place was individual or friendly; the place felt alone and not lived in, more like a hotel than a home. I remembered my room back home with walls full of pictures and posters scattered over the walls, and dream catchers and beads hung up that caught the light and sent small, glittering shapes dancing around the room every morning. I’d had to leave everything behind, and I had no doubt that my mother was already home ripping it all down and turning it into a study to do extra work.  
Despite the fact I’d slept the whole flight over here, my body still felt weird and tired and I figured these were the effects of jet lag. According to the small clock on the desk in my room it was only 3:05pm, meaning it had just gone 11pm back home. I walked back to get my suitcase I’d abandoned by the front door and dragged it into my room, before dumping it beside my bed. Exhausted, I crawled into bed and dug out my phone to check it one last time. It was still silent. I dropped it down onto the floor next to me and rolled over, pulling the blanket up higher over my shoulders. I took a deep sigh, inhaling the new scent of this unfamiliar place, before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So any thoughts? ^^ Dan will be in the next chapter, which I'll probably end up writing and posting later tonight. Also, I found some images of how I picture Alice and Jade and you can see them here:
> 
> Alice (minus nose ring/septum piercing): http://s172.photobucket.com/user/LittleBitGrump/media/black-hair-brown-eyes-tumblr-girls-m3fktv0m_zpsd1251e7b.jpg.html?filters%5Buser%5D=142542193&filters%5Brecent%5D=1&sort=1&o=1
> 
> The 'silly photo' of her and Jade that was Alice's laptop background: http://s172.photobucket.com/user/LittleBitGrump/media/tumblr_mxca22IZU61s5mne8o1_500-5488_zps3d60d570.jpg.html?filters%5Buser%5D=142542193&filters%5Brecent%5D=1&sort=1&o=0


	4. IV

When I finally awoke the room was a lot darker. I reached for my phone screen and pressed the button to light up the screen. The clock read 3am. I groaned, I can’t believe I slept for so long! Although I suppose in the UK it was late afternoon and my body was still running on that time, coupled with the fact I’d not slept much the few days before I boarded the plane. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, and tried to comb my bed head with my fingernails. I climbed out of bed and grabbed my phone, then kicked off my jeans so that I was left in my hoodie, vest and underpants and walked into the living room. I figured there was no point in looking to see if the previous owner had left any coffee in the cupboards in the kitchen, but my hopeful side checked anyway. Of course, they were all totally bare. I sighed and tapped my nails distractedly on the sideboard. Goddamn I wish I had a cigarette. I’d given up before coming out here as I was so desperate to save as much money as I could, and I’d wanted to start over with a completely new life, leaving all bad habits and bad people behind me. Except coffee, I kept that for myself.  
I walked over to the TV and tried to see if I could get it working. The signal wasn’t too great but I never watched too much TV anyway, so it didn’t bother me. I just used TV’s for my game consoles, but I’d had to leave all of those back home in storage because of regional codes over here. I should have sold them before I left for the extra money, but I just couldn’t bare it, I get way too attached to non-sentimental things. I spent the next couple of hours browsing on my phone or casually flicking through TV channels, watching snippets of news channels to get some extra information about the country I was now living in. All I got really was that someone had been drugged and stabbed in Hollywood yesterday morning, but that was the kind of thing you could hear about anywhere. The note that had been left on the coffee table had been from my landlord just giving me bits of information, rubbish collection days, the address of a local dry cleaners, a contact number for him, a re-direct address of the previous owners in case any old post showed up and the password for the building’s WiFi. I reminded myself I needed to get myself a proper American SIM card and number.  
When I finally checked the time again it had just gone 5am and my stomach had begun to growl. I got up off the sofa and went into the bathroom to try out the shower. It took a ridiculously long time for the water to warm up but it eventually did, but halfway through I remembered I hadn’t bought any shampoo or conditioner as I couldn’t bring any on the plane. I hopped out the shower to also realise I didn’t have any towels. Fuck. I picked up my hoodie from the floor and dried myself with it as much as I could, then walked briskly back to my room to dig out some clothes from my suitcase, shivering as the difference in air temperature swirled around me. I checked the weather forecast on my phone and saw it was supposed to be a relatively warm day like yesterday, so I dressed myself in a pair of cut off denim shorts and a black and white baseball shirt. I unpacked my suitcase some more and blow-dryed and straightened my hair, before tying a bandana around it in a retro, pin-up girl style. I applied minimal makeup to my face, just foundation and mascara, and then darkened my eyebrows a bit. I found that I no longer really made an effort with my appearance; without Jade’s beauty around there was nothing to compare me to, therefore I didn’t have to try to impress anyone. I checked my phone and loaded up directions to the nearest shopping complex that was about 20 minutes away.  
I grabbed my key off the table by the door then exited my apartment, creeping past the grumpy old woman’s door on the ground floor in the fear that my presence may spark another barrage of abuse and door slamming. I turned right when I was outside and began my walk, referring to Google maps every now and then to determine which direction to take. I finally arrived outside a huge shopping centre, or should I start referring to them as ‘malls’ now? I walked in and just gaped at the enormity of what lay inside. There must have been about 5 storeys and every floor was rammed with shops. Barely anything was open as it had only just become 7am, so I set off scanning the floors for a place to get some food and coffee. I finally came across a Dunkin’ Donuts, something I’d heard about but never experienced before, so I went inside. I ordered a regular coffee and some oatmeal and a donut and sat down. I picked at my food as I Googled the shops I could find in the complex, searching particularly for a place to sort out my phone and bank account, a supermarket and somewhere to buy towels or other household items I’d need. I took a tentative sip of my still hot coffee, it was really good.  
I continued my search whilst I finished my breakfast as the complex began filling up with more and more people. I finally exited the place and wandered around until I came across the phone place I was looking for. I found it, and walked out the store 30 minutes later with a brand new US phone number. I sorted out my bank account within the next hour before coming across a small Ikea departmental store and felt oddly at home to find something I slightly recognised. I went in and headed straight to the bathroom section to look for towels. I was pricing up a few sets before a couple of bright purple, incredibly fluffy looking ones caught my eye on the top shelf. I loved purple and I reached up to grab them…only to be almost an entire foot too short to reach them. Goddamit. I looked around nervously, and then tried placing my feet on the bottom shelf to reach up a bit higher. It was better, but not quite close enough. I gripped on tightly and tried placing my foot on the next shelf up, but midway through stretching for the towel, my foot slipped and I upset a load of toilet roll holders that fell to the floor with a loud, clanging metallic bang. I jumped down quickly, red-faced, and tried gathering them up as quickly as I could before they rolled into the other aisles. I was on my knees, chasing after the last one, when I heard a soft chuckle above me and a black converse trainer similar to my own, rested on the escapee metal holder. My shoulders sagged in embarrassment and I turned my face to look up at whoever had just witnessed my fiasco. A man peered down at me, a grin sitting on his face and his arms folded over a red T-shirt. He was tall and skinny, very tall considering my current height, and had a youngish face with a bit of stubble, surrounded by a cloud of crazy fluffy hair. My cheeks reddened even more. He nudged the holder towards me with his foot and I grabbed it, before a hand appeared in front of my face.  
“Need a hand?” the guy asked. Fuck, now I needed to socialize with the guy who’d just watched me crawling on my hands and knees in a bathroom aisle. I begrudgingly accepted and he pulled me to my feet. He towered over me less now, although he was still much taller than me, so that I only came up to just below his chin. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and breathed out quickly before looking up at him properly.  
“Umm, thanks” I mumbled, finding that I could only meet his eye for a second before I had to look past him. Upon a closer look I’d noticed he had a faint scar running down one of his eyebrows. “I was trying to reach the towels and I-”  
“You fell and knocked everything over” he said smirking, but his eyes twinkled. Shit, so he saw me, fucking great.  
“Fuck, yeah, I’m so clumsy” I said, feeling the embarrassment creep all the way across my cheeks until I was sure my ears must be bright red too. He chuckled again before walking over to the aisle and grabbing the purple towels I was reaching for with ease.  
“How many was it that you wanted? Two?” he asked, still grinning. I nodded and he held them out to me.  
”Thanks” I mumbled lamely again, tucking them under my arm and staring at my shoes. I heard him chuckle again before he slapped me gently on the shoulder.  
“So was that all you were looking for or do you need anything else?” he asked. I flicked my hair back and looked up at him again trying to meet his eye and control my pink cheeks, to cling to any shred of dignity I had left.  
“That’s okay, I can find it myself” I replied, trying to shrug casually. His eyes twinkled again and his lips twitched into a grin again.  
“Well I can’t let you wander off alone, you’ll be up there trying to climb the shelves again fuckin’ Spidergirl” he smirked. I literally felt my shoulders wince in embarrassment as I felt my face flare up again, to my annoyance. I forced a fake laugh.  
“I won’t, I promise” I replied forcing my eyes to lock with his. He was watching me intently for a second, the smile merely ghosting on his face. He seemed to shake himself out of it slightly and flashed me another grin before grabbing the hand I’d visibly written my shopping notes on and holding it up to his face.  
“Okay so coffee mugs, they’re this way I think!” he announced, before dragging my wrist after him. I stumbled trying to keep up with his pace, and trying to prise my arm from his grip until we arrived at the aisle.  
“Really, you don’t have to, it’s okay, I can do this myself!” I huffed, finally removing myself from his grip and trying to make myself sound unfriendly and grumpy. He snorted and nudged me gently.  
“Oh really? And what happens when you reach another top shelf, little midget?” he teased. I squeaked indignantly and opened my mouth to snap at him for that joke but he giggled loudly at my reaction and pointed at the mugs hanging up.  
“Look these are two for $2, how many do you need?” I looked up at him again, trying to gauge his expression and decipher whether he was fucking with me or not, but he just looked back at me patiently awaiting my response. I sighed and scratched my head.  
“I don’t know, like maybe 6?” I guessed, giving in. He picked them all off and balanced them in his arms.  
“What next?”  
We walked to the next couple of aisles to pick up bed sheets, cushions and a lamp, stopping to get a basket by the door when we both couldn’t carry any more. He gentlemanly picked the basket up before I could get there first and sauntered ahead before I could argue. I followed after him, checking my hand for the last few things I needed, before almost colliding directly into him as he’d stopped abruptly mid-step. He turned on me and flashed me another grin.  
“So what’s your name, short stuff?” he asked cheekily. My face reddened again.  
“I’m not that short!” I retorted angrily. He giggled.  
“Yeah but I don’t know your name, so I have to resort to my multitude of witty nicknames” he chuckled, shooting me another grin with a raised eyebrow.  
“Alice” I said, instantly regretting my decision to not contemplate giving a fake name. “Winters”  
“I’m Dan” he replied, with a flick of his hair. “Avidan, but everyone calls me Danny”. He swapped the basket to his other hand and held it out in a formal handshake. I peered at him curiously before cautiously taking it and shaking gently. This guy was so unpredictable and crazy. He pumped my arm excitedly and vigorously back, shaking so hard my shoulder wobbled. “You’re British aren’t you?” he asked. He was still shaking my entire arm.  
“Umm yes, I just moved here” I said, once again trying to ease myself out of his grip. He released me, still grinning manically. As much as this guy seemed completely insane and almost terrifyingly happy, there was something about him that I couldn’t seem to turn on my bitch mode and make him leave. He seemed genuinely nice in trying to help me, despite the craziness.  
“Cool, how long ago did you move?” he asked. We’d begun walking again, in search of cutlery.  
“About 20 hours ago?” I estimated. He laughed loudly again.  
“Really? Wow that’s awesome. How are ya finding it?”  
“Uhh alright I guess…” I said. “I’ve not really seen much, I slept all of yesterday so this is my first time outside. I had to use my phone to get here”  
He laughed again. What was he finding so damn funny?  
“Man so you’re a total virgin then? As in LA newbie?” he asked, wriggling his eyebrows in mock suggesting. I flushed red furiously again, at first shocked at his outward-ness, before realizing what he really meant.  
“Err yes, I’d never been on a plane before yesterday” I replied through clenched teeth as I waited for my blush to dissipate. Goddamit what was going on? I’d turned into some simpering idiot in front of the first man I’ve met here. I’d never been too good at speaking to guys; that was always Jade’s forte. We could go out for drinks somewhere and within an hour she’d be sitting on some guy’s lap as he and his friends supplied us with free drinks all night. I’d always been a bit awkward and shy at first, but Jade always played off on it so I appeared dark and mysterious and cute, instead of just socially graceless. I’d had a couple of boyfriends on and off, but nothing serious and nothing really long term. I’d usually break it off before it got too serious, or they would me when they realized going out with me wouldn’t get them any closer to Jade. I was never offended by it; I wasn’t generally interested in the male population. Like, I’m not cynical or bitter, I just think all this modern day romance and bravado we get shoved down our throats nowadays is so over-commercialized and fake, or we could never live up to what we perceive as being ‘true love’. Jade would always laugh off my negative comments and wave her hand and just say  
 _“Just wait, you’ll experience it one day, the guy who totally makes everything worth it, then you’ll become one of those idiots you love to hate on and I will never let you live it down”. ___  
She’d been wrong thus far, and I’d grown accustomed to my solitary lifestyle. I didn’t want to let anyone else in and fuck it all up. You can’t get hurt if you don’t have anyone to hurt you.  
He seemed to notice I’d gone off on a tangent in my head and nudged me smirking again.  
“Earth to shortass? Care to return to reality at any point?” he mocked again. I furrowed my brow as I looked at him.  
“Hey, I told you my name to stop the nicknames, you have no excuse now” I frowned. He looked me dead in the eye and quirked an eyebrow upwards.  
“Yeah, but you look darn cute when you’re mad” he replied, straight-faced but still raising an eyebrow. My eyes widened and I shot my head to look straight to the floor, mortified at how hot I could feel my cheeks were. He threw back his head and cackled loudly.  
“You’re way too easy to wind up!” he laughed as I clenched my fists tightly.  
“Hahaha…” I grumbled still glaring at the floor.  
“‘But I don't want to go among mad people,’ Alice remarked. ‘Oh you can't help that,’ said the cat; ‘We're all mad here’.” he declared loudly in a dreadful and wildly inaccurate English accent. I raised my head quickly and looked at him confused again.  
“Did you just quote Alice in Wonderland at me?” I asked. He flashed another grin as he nodded at something in a direction to his left.  
“Well it is your namesake, little Dormouse” he replied over his shoulder as he set off towards the spatulas. I scratched my head confused again, and questioned my sanity as I followed after the fuzzy haired Mad Hatter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left comments/feedback, next chapter up tomorrow probably ^^


	5. V

So Dan or ‘Danny’ as he insisted on me calling him, helped me get all the rest of the stuff I needed in the small Ikea store, and even accompanied me back to my apartment as I had too many bags for me to carry by myself. I know I should’ve felt wary about bringing a strange (and most probably clinically insane) guy back to my apartment, but there was something about his demeanour that just made me instantly trust him, and over the hour or so we’d spent together I surprisingly found myself enjoying his company, something that was usually pretty rare for me. Although I knew soon he’d be leaving and I wouldn’t see him again, a thought that constantly kept in the back of my mind. Maybe that’s why I allowed myself to drop my defensive and usually closed off personality, even just for a little while, and allow myself to actually relax in the company of another person. He was interesting, and his bubbly persona just seemed to melt my icy exterior, if only just a little bit. We talked as we walked the last few streets back to my apartment.  
“So what is it you do?” I asked him, as I juggled the bags I was holding in my arms with the map back to my house I had opened on my phone.  
“I play video games” he replied shrugging. I snorted and he raised an eyebrow at me.  
“What’s so funny?” he asked. I shook my head.  
“So you’re unemployed?” I questioned. He smiled chuckled lightly.  
“No, I told you. I play video games as a job. You don’t believe me?”  
“It doesn’t matter, I don’t have a job either. I brought enough money with me to last a little while but I need to start looking soon”  
“What kind of job do you want?” he asked, changing the subject as we crossed a busy road. I noticed he’d dropped the subject but figured maybe it was a sensitive subject for him.  
“I don’t know, maybe some crappy shop job or something, I’m not overly picky, as long as I can afford my rent” I said shrugging.  
“Really? That’s what you want to do?”  
“Ehh not really, but I’m not really in the position to turn my nose up at what’s offered to me” I replied. The reality was, I didn’t want to tell him the kind of job I really wanted to do. It contradicted my ice queen portrayal too much; it’d be a dead giveaway that I was hiding who I really was. Before the accident and my new personality, I’d actually gone to school to study working with children with special needs. I’d always wanted to help children, despite not being a particularly motherly or broody person, and the idea of helping children with difficulties was an area I was incredibly interested in. I’d helped out at a few schools that catered to these pupils during my years in university, and something about these poor kids who had to grow up in such an unfair way, but just carried on with as much normality as they could, really inspired me. My goal would be to work as a classroom assistant with kids like these, or maybe even one day becoming a teacher of my own class, but I knew my university degree and credentials didn’t hold up over here, and I would have to retrain to get a job like that.  
Whilst talking we’d reached the front of my building.  
“Well, this is it” I said, putting my bags down at my feet and fumbling in my purse for my key. I found it and turned to receive the bags he held from him.  
“Thank you so much for all your help, really, you didn’t need to” I said sincerely. He smiled warmly and shook his head quickly, curly hair bouncing.  
“It was no bother, I wasn’t busy. It was nice getting to know someone new. Are you sure you don’t want me to help carry these up?” he asked.  
“No honestly, I’ve taken up enough of your time already. I can handle it from here” I insisted. Suddenly a small chime began from nearby, and he quickly lowered the bags to reach into his back pocket. He brought out a mobile phone that was playing some weird comedy band song, and I’m pretty sure I heard the word “penis”.  
“Shit, sorry, hang on a sec-” he said raising the phone to his ear. “Hey”. I walked towards my front door and unlocked it, then began dragging the bags inside into the hallway.  
“Yeah…yeah okay. No it’s fine, I think I was just about done here anyway. Yep okay, cool. Yeah I’ll see you in about half an hour. Okay, bye” he deposited the phone back into his pocket as I reached for the last bag. “Are you sure you don’t want my help?”  
“Nope, it’s fine, I’m only on the third floor, no big deal” I shrugged as I hoisted the bag into my arms. He seemed to dither a bit before I rolled my eyes and laughed.  
“Just go, honestly, I’m not some damsel in need of saving. I’m sure I can manage a few plastic bags” I said sarcastically as I flapped my hand at him to go. He quirked an eyebrow upwards.  
“But my fair maiden, who will be your knight in shining armour to protect thee against the heavy burden of your household goods, and to slay the almighty fire-breathing dragon wench whom resides in squalor beneath thy castle?” he announced theatrically, taking an over-exaggerated bow and looking in the direction behind me. I turned to see what he was talking about to see Mrs. Blackery glaring daggers at me over the top of her net curtains as she spied on me from her window. I sighed loudly and turned back to him.  
“Ahh ignore her, she’s just a grumpy old cow.” I said and he giggled as he straightened up.  
“You Brits talk so weird” he chuckled. I rolled my eyes.  
“Anyway, haven’t you got somewhere to be now?” I asked, slowly beginning to step towards my door. “Thanks again for the help, I’ve really appreciated it”.  
He smiled again. “No problem. Perhaps I’ll see you again then little Alice. “Now that I’ve memorised where you live and all.” He widened his eyes to try and look as creepy as possible. I giggled and shook my head again as I reached the door.  
“Goodbye Dan” I said. He flashed a grin once more and raised a hand before sloping off in the other direction. I allowed the smile to remain on my face as I watched the way his wild hair bobbed as he walked. But as soon as it shut the door it disappeared, and I was alone again. I looked down at the small collection of heavy bags I’d placed by the stairs and felt my shoulders sag a little.  
 _This is what I want_. I thought to myself. _You can’t get hurt if there’s no one around to be hurt by. Not again._  
I picked up as many bags as I could and began the first journey up the steps to my apartment.  
 _This IS what I want_. I repeated firmly in my head. But why did it feel less genuine this time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the delay, and if this chapter is a bit rubbish ;_; I'm just editing the next one now which will be a bit more interesting?


	6. VI

I spent the next couple of hours in my apartment putting away and arranging all the new furniture me and Danny had gotten in Ikea, and finally unpacking the rest of my clothes and belongings now I had somewhere to put them. The hours just slipped by whilst I worked, and by the time I stopped, early evening had rolled around. My stomach growled a little and I realised I hadn’t been to any supermarkets to get food for the apartment when I was out earlier. Goddamit. I grabbed my keys and my phone, and selected a hoodie from my wardrobe, before venturing back out into the streets, locking my front door behind me. I walked a few blocks in search of somewhere to buy food, deciding this time to actually take in the sights of these LA streets instead of having my eyes glued to a map in my hand. I passed a few small foreign convenience stores and a chemist, before rounding a corner and finding a big white building with a sign saying ‘Ralphs’ outside it. I stepped in through the big metal doors and picked up a small red basket and began wandering the aisles. I walked up and down every single one, admiring the different products I’d never seen before in the UK. There was nothing here I recognised at all. I picked up some milk, coffee and bread and selected a six pack of sodas I thought looked interesting. I moved onto the bath products aisle, selecting shampoo and other shower products, and even picked up a jasmine scented candle to make the place smell a bit less musty.  
As I finished up my shopping, I came across an aisle full of brightly coloured American candy and sweets. Unable to resist I turned and began scanning the hundreds of products before me. There was so much here I’d never heard of in Britain, you could literally get anything you could think of here! As I was debating between six different types of Oreos a loud commotion came from the end of the candy aisle, and a red shopping cart came hurtling down towards me with a screaming figure inside it. The cart ricocheted off the aisles either side, knocking shelves and scattering packets all over the floor. An industrial sized tub of Skittles exploded as the wheel of the cart collided with it, sending thousands of brightly coloured balls to the floor. The wheels spun and went crazy and the cart began heading straight towards me. I shrieked and threw myself out of the way, sprawling on the floor in my haste, as the cart crashed into the place I’d just stood, tipping over and sending two brightly coloured bodies on top of me. I cried out as I was squashed by the weight and someone exploded into laughter loudly whilst the other groaned.  
“LADIES AND GENTLEMEN WE HAVE A WINNER!!!” A voice bellowed as I heard a pair of feet running towards our direction, accompanied by the squeak of another shopping cart skidding to a halt next to me.  
“Dude…it’s not funny, we almost killed this girl!” one of the bodies on top of me huffed. I yelped again as the people on top of me attempted to get up and someone accidentally elbowed me hard in the ribs.  
”Shit, hey are you okay?!” someone cried, and a unicorn head suddenly popped up in my face. I managed to hold back a startled scream and frowned up at the strange group that was now surrounding me. I raised a hand and gingerly touched the back of my head in search of any bumps or bruises, because what I was seeing in front of me had to be a hallucination from hitting my head or something. A bear, a unicorn and a dinosaur were all crowded around me, whilst a blue owl peeked at me over the edge of the shopping cart. I shook my head and blinked hard, trying to regain control of my imagination.  
“Oh shit, hey Alice!” the bear gasped in voice that was oddly familiar. I frowned before registering the crazy cloud of fluffy hair poking out underneath the bear’s head.  
“Danny?” I cried as his face spread into a massive grin.  
“Well, well, I knew you were keen and all but you really didn’t have to stalk me all the way here” he said, placing his hands on his hips that were concealed in a ridiculous bear onesie. The dinosaur raised a small silver object to his face and spoke into it.  
“So it appears we have just narrowly avoided killing a young woman so all in all I’d say this was a successful challenge, despite the fact that Barry and Ross won. So that makes the score 1 to team Bross and 0 for the Grumps, so we’ll see you in the next one. Bye!”. The dinosaur flipped the small screen on what I realised was a camera shut, and turned back towards me. In the dinosaur suit stood a young, pale, neatly stubbled man with longish, dark brown hair with a bright blonde stripe running through it, giving me the same shit-eating grin Danny was. The guy in the unicorn suit still crouching next to me had short, dark hair and more stubble, and the owl guy had light sandy brown hair, blue eyes and a pale complexion. Danny came over to me and held out a hand to help me off the floor, and the unicorn guy put his hands under my arm to help support me up. I rose to my feet and tenderly tested each foot on the floor to see if anything was broken. Nothing hurt much; just a bruise on my arm and probably one from being elbowed in the ribs. I winced as I placed my hand over them and Danny’s grin faltered a little.  
“Shit, are you okay? We didn’t hurt you did we?” he asked gently placing a hand on my shoulder. I grimaced and rubbed my ribs.  
“Nah I’m fine, what the heck were you guys doing?” I asked. Danny’s grin appeared again.  
“We were having a shopping cart race!” he exclaimed.  
“Yeah and you lost!” the blue owl-clad man shouted triumphantly. Danny scowled at him.  
“By a minor technicality; we saved the life of this young lady here, therefore we are the true winners” he said proudly glancing at the dinosaur next to him.  
“But you’re the ones who put it in danger?” I pointed out. The unicorn started laughing and Danny patted my head like a small child.  
“Shhhh, there there young ‘un, you’re delirious, you’re imagining things” he said messing up my hair. I batted his hand away and flicked a piece of fringe out of my eyes.  
“I must be, because I think I was just run over by a group of over-sized man-children dressed as fluffy animals in a candy aisle” I grumbled, trying to fix my hair. The men around me laughed and Danny swung an arm casually over the dinosaur stood next to him.  
“This here, is Arin, the one you can hold accountable for your injuries. The man dressed as the mythical creature to your right is Barry, and the idiot sitting in the cart is Ross. We were all filming a competition we’re doing for our channel, to see which team is the best.” Danny explained.  
“We were well ahead until you decided to sabotage out plans. Did you plan this?!” Arin added next to him, pointing a finger accusingly at me and the guys Danny had just introduced to me as Barry and Ross. Ross threw up his hands in mock-surrender and Barry chuckled folding his arms over his chest.  
“What do you mean I sabotaged you?! You were the ones who almost killed me!” I cried and Arin waved his hand.  
“You’re all traitors the lot of you, I knew you played dirty” he replied shooting me another grin. Danny gasped in fake horror and covered his mouth with his hands.  
“Alice how could you! You were just using me for my good looks, sexy body and my money?! I feel so betrayed!” he dramatically threw his arms over Arin’s shoulders and buried his face in them wailing loudly. Arin patted his back and smoothed his head and whispered loudly:  
“Shhhh baby, it’s okay, we don’t need them, it’s just you and me from now on”  
A few people walked past the end of the aisle frowning curiously at the mental scene that must be displayed before them; a dinosaur comforting a crying bear whilst his unicorn and owl friend looked on amongst a mess of overturned shopping carts, skittles and the groceries that had spilled from my shopping basket across the floor. Danny playfully raised his head and sniffed, pretending to wipe his eyes, when a voice shouted from behind us.  
“Hey, what are you guys doing! You’re gonna clean all this up and pay for the damages! Come here!” a man in a red store shirt shouted as he started up the aisle towards us.  
“Oh shit…” said Ross as he began to scramble out of the shopping cart.  
“RUN!” Danny yelled, as he grabbed my hand and pulled. We all sprinted off in different directions away from the employee, leaving Ross with one leg still in the cart.  
“Hey guys, wait for me!” we heard him cry behind us. Danny giggled manically as we zig-zagged around other shoppers who stopped dead in their tracks to stare at us in astonishment. We raced through the aisles, attempting to lose the rapidly growing number of employees trying to pursue us. We rounded a corner sharply and could see the sliding doors of the exit and raced towards them, narrowly dodging an elderly couple frowning at us in disgust. We escaped through the doors into the orange, sunset-kissed car park outside and stopped, both bent over, panting and laughing. A flurry of footsteps approached us and I looked up through my hair to see Barry and Arin also rush out the exit of the store, laughing at the top of their voices.  
“Well, that was fuckin’ close!” Arin laughed flipping his hair out of his face. I continued laughing and clutching my side with the one hand Danny wasn’t still holding.  
“You guys…are…crazy!” I wheezed through my laughter. Danny chuckled loudly next to me and squeezed my hand gently. We stayed like that for a few moments as we all caught out breath.  
“Hey, where’s Ross?” Barry asked moving his head around to scan the whole car park. We all looked up; it was completely empty apart from the few cars that were parked there. Suddenly we heard the doors slide open again behind us and footsteps stomping rapidly towards us. We turned to see Ross’s panic stricken face coming towards us with a group of employees, and now the addition of a couple of security guards, hot on his heels.  
“Goddamit Ross” Danny muttered as Ross pointed his arms wildly to signal us to keep running.  
We all set off towards the car park exit, laughing loudly and whooping as the orders from the guards fell deaf on our ears, the whole time my hand still tightly clutched in Danny’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should hopefully resume my nightly schedule from now on, apologies if I don't. Comments are appreciated, thanks everyone for the kudos! ^^


	7. VII

An hour later we were all sat in a diner, crammed together in the booths. I was currently squashed between Ross and Danny whilst Barry and Arin lounged opposite us, sipping on sodas.  
“Okay, so let me get this straight. You guys are YouTubers?” I asked. Ross nodded beside me.  
“Yep, our channel’s got over 2 million subscribers now.” he said proudly.  
“And you play video games for a living?”  
Danny chuckled next to me. “I told you I wasn’t lying” he grinned. I shook my head amazed.  
“But that’s insane! Why have I never heard of you guys? I always follow gamers on YouTube! Like PewDiePie, Mark, Jack…”  
“As in Markiplier?” Arin asked, eyes flashing. I nodded.  
“Yeah I love that guy! He’s seems so funny and sweet.” I said. Arin shot a look at Danny and smirked at him.  
“Don’t you even dare!” Danny warned as Arin cackled whilst scrambling for something in his pocket. He dug out his phone and started tapping something into it whilst Danny lunged over the table to try wrestle it off him. His force knocked me into Ross and squashed me against his shoulder whilst he squirmed and fought with Arin, almost sending soda cups flying. I glanced uncomfortably at Ross who just giggled and attempted to make more room for me.  
“Ha! It just went up ten minutes ago!” Arin called triumphantly, still wrestling Danny with one arm whilst keeping the other holding his phone high above his head out of Danny’s reach.  
“What’s the matter?” I asked, alarmed.  
“Dude she’s bound to see it anyway!” Arin insisted. Danny made one last desperate scramble, before sighing loudly and flopping back into his seat in defeat.  
“You’re such an asshole.” he huffed, folding his arms across his chest and refusing to make eye contact with anyone, but his tone wasn’t too malicious. Arin turned the phone screen towards me on a YouTube video of Mark dressed in a ridiculous outfit consisting of a fluffy white body warmer and a pair of shorts. He introduced himself and said he had two guests with him to do his second pole dancing video with. I watched as two figures ran into the shot and gasped loudly.  
“But that’s…and…” I pointed wildly back and for between Danny and Arin. Arin flipped his long hair back sassily and fluttered his eyelashes, and Danny managed to flick his eyes back to mine. I continued to watch the video, holding it at an angle so that everyone around the table could watch it with me. We laughed loudly as Danny gracefully twirled around the pole.  
“This is so cool!” I laughed, and in spite of trying to act annoyed, Danny laughed along with us as Arin failed miserably. After we’d finished the video I went onto the Game Grumps channel to watch some of their videos, much to their embarrassment and protests not to. After a few videos I was wiping my eyes from laughter.  
“You guys this is really incredible,” I said handing the phone back to Arin. “I can’t believe I’d never heard of you guys before”  
“You probably have, Mark’s been filming his recent videos from our place because his internet connection is down so he’s mentioned us a couple times. And we’ve done a couple of games with him.” Arin smiled.  
“Actually you’re right, I thought your channel name sounded familiar. This is just…surreal” I said shaking my head. Barry flexed his arms.  
“Don’t worry, you’ll get used to being around _celebrities!_ ” he sighed, smoothing his hair down with his hand. We all laughed and Arin elbowed him in the chest.  
Time wore on as we chatted until eventually the waitresses began cleaning up tables and stacking the chairs, all the while shooting us dirty looks as a signal to leave. Ross finally took the hint and stood up stretching.  
“Well guys I think it’s time we leave. This place is closing and we’ve got a couple of Steam Train episodes to film and edit tonight”. The others agreed and stood up with him. I shuffled out of the booth.  
“Yeah, I better be getting home anyway. I need to try stopping off at a late night food shop too since you all got me kicked out the last one” I said as I shrugged on my hoodie. We all walked to the door into the brisk night air outside.  
“Well I’ll catch you guys up at the Grump Space, I’ll make sure Alice gets home okay first” Danny said waving a hand at Barry.  
My heart stopped and it felt like a huge stone had dropped into my stomach making me feel instantly sick. The guys shrugged and turned to walk away as I grabbed hold of his arm to get his attention.  
“You really don’t have to do that!” I insisted, swallowing the lump in my throat. My heart had started up again at this point and was beating frantically. Danny frowned at my wide eyes and shrugged.  
“It’s okay, I don’t mind doing it. Ross is always way ahead of schedule anyway; we don’t have much to do tonight. It can wait” he said. The churning in my stomach got worse and I shook my head quickly.  
“Really, look I can find my way back, and I’ve got my phone if I get lost, it’s no problem, and you don’t have to walk me” I said sharply. Danny stared at me hard.  
“I want to. You’re new to this place; it can get a little dangerous at night sometimes. I don’t want you getting mugged in your first week here” Danny replied, and started off in the direction towards mine. I ran to catch him up and grabbed his arm again, rougher this time, so that he was pulled to face me.  
“Just…I don’t want you to, okay?!” I almost shouted, the panic in me tipping over into a harsh tone. Danny looked startled at my outburst, but it had already reached too far. I’d been careless letting this many people in at once. I’ve seen this part in the movies, where the man walks the woman home and they kiss before saying goodnight. Then they get together and think everything’s great until one of them fucks it all up or reveals their true character, and everything gets messy and falls apart and someone gets hurt. But that’s not happening to me, I’m not getting hurt again. I folded my arms and set my face into the stoniest, bitchiest expression I could manage.  
“Look, thanks for today and everything, it was nice of you. But I’m not interested. I’m not looking for anything, and I’m not even here to make friends. I came here to get a house and a job by myself; alone. I don’t need you fussing over me and playing the ‘chivalrous gentleman’ part to get into my pants. It’s not happening, so just go away and leave me alone would you?” I snapped, flicking my hair out of my eyes to intensify my glare. Danny’s shoulder’s dropped and there was no mistaking the pained expression that washed over his face.  
“You really think that’s what I wanted?” he asked softly.  
“Yes, and I’m telling you now, your act might work on some stupid bitches but it isn’t on me. I know your type” I retorted. The pain left Danny’s face and was replaced by a dark flash of anger in his eyes.  
“Fine, if that’s what you want” he snapped, and stormed past me, towards his group of friends walking ahead in the distance. His words hung in the air and the atmosphere stung around me, and I wished I could grab everything I’d said and shove it back into my mouth and swallow it back down. I stood helplessly, watching him stomp off into the night, desperately fighting with myself to resist the urge to call his name. I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands and forced my feet to walk away, back towards home.  
This was the way it was supposed to be, this was my plan all along. I’d known that as soon as I met him, but had I known he would have gotten this close to breaking my exterior, I would’ve run the other way in the Ikea store. He was a big boy, he’d get over it. People always did when they tried being friendly and I told them exactly where to go. But for some reason, this time I felt a stab of guilt when I remembered the shocked, hurt look Danny had given me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha so i'm trying really hard to keep things accurate geographically and i'm trying to include US stuff like the supermarket (i'm not from the US) so if there are any major errors please don't kill me xD Also the timeline kinda jumps around a bit, it's supposed to be modern day now but I altered the date the pole-dancing video was posted to the current date so sorry for any confusion. Comments welcomed ^^


	8. VIII

I woke up for the next few days still feeling the clutches of guilt seizing my chest over what I’d said to Danny. I didn’t get it, what was so special about him to make me feel so bad? He’s not the first person I’d verbally shut off to their face, heck I’d dumped guys in harsher ways that that, I’d barely known him longer than 6 hours, why was this such a big deal?  
Today was no different, 3 days had already past and I still felt shitty. I shook myself off and got out of bed and padded towards the shower.  
 _Maybe it’s because he’s the first person who seemed genuinely nice towards you since me?_ A voice that sounded suspiciously like Jade’s asked. I stopped dead and whipped around to make sure no one was in the room with me; it was empty. Great, now my dead best friend is actually answering me. I am definitely going crazy. I continued to the shower to try and wash away any more crazy thoughts and voices from my head and continued about my day. I opened up my laptop once I’d got out the shower, and after half an hour finally got it up and running on the internet. I checked a few emails about job enquiries I’d made before I came out here, but there was nothing important. I logged into my bank account to transfer over all the money I’d saved in my British savings to my American one. Once I’d done all that, I switched onto YouTube. I glanced at the video Markiplier had uploaded the other day which was now trending, and seeing Danny’s face grinning back at me from the screen made me sink further into my seat. I couldn’t stop myself typing Game Grumps into the search bar and clicked on their channel page. I was amazed at the over two thousand videos they had on there, but the echoes of my words I’d said refrained me from clicking onto any of them. I noted the upload date of the latest video, and to my dismay realised they hadn’t posted anything with Danny in it since before that night, which must have meant he wasn’t in the mood to record anything; because of me. The guilt grew as I thought about how I’d now personally affected not only his career, but those of the others he worked with, all who had been equally as nice to me the other night. I exited the page quickly and flipped the laptop shut, tossing it on the sofa cushion beside me. I exhaled loudly, before deciding I really needed to get out of the house and to a supermarket, if not to distract myself from my thoughts. I’d only been out once in the last three days to a small 24 hour shop around the corner, but they only stocked the very bare essentials and I had run out pretty quickly. I grabbed my keys and a leather jacket off the stand by the door and exited the apartment.  
At the bottom of the stairs I noted a small white strip of paper was stuck above a small metal slat in the wall. This must be my new post box. I fumbled in my pockets for a pen, but realised I didn’t have one and mentally reminded myself I needed to label my name on it later. I walked past it, out of the door, and walked a few streets (in the opposite direction of where the I’d walked home with Danny the other night) until I finally found a small convenience store. Upon walking inside, I noticed it obviously wasn’t as fully stocked as the supermarket had been, but it held everything I needed. I took everything I’d picked up to the till (including pens to label my post box), and paid the man behind it, before beginning the walk back home.  
As I got closer to the streets before my apartment, I saw a figure up ahead of me walking up to the door of an apartment and stand there stationary for a few seconds. Then they turned, walked back down the path they’d just come from, then up to the next block of apartments next door. I watched them curiously as I walked closer, before realising that it was a man with a suspicious strip of blonde running through one side of his hair. Arin? I squinted to try get a better view when they turned back down the apartment path they’d just walked up, and scanned the streets before stopping looking in my direction. Oh, fuck. I turned sharply on my heel and speed walked in the direction I’d just come from but it was too late.  
“Hey! Wait…Stop!” a voice rang out from behind me. I ignored it and continued walking quickly away but heard their footsteps gaining on me. I tried walking even faster but he’d obviously run to catch up with me and was by my side in a few seconds.  
“Hey, Alice isn’t it?” he asked stopping in my path so I couldn’t get past him without having to acknowledge him.  
“Yeah, hi” I mumbled, looking anywhere but his face. I could feel a blush slowly creeping up my neck threatening to invade my face.  
“Why didn’t you stop, didn’t you hear me calling you?” he asked, folding his arms. I closed my eyes.  
“Um, yeah I did. I just-”  
“You ignored me” he interrupted. “I’ve been looking up and down all these apartments for like an hour now. Dan mentioned you’d moved into this area but I couldn’t find your name on any of the doors”.  
Who was this guy? Why was he so fixated on finding me? I’d have assumed after the way I’d spoken to Dan, I’d have never heard from any of these guys again, so what did he want?  
“I haven’t had a chance to put it on any of them yet” I replied quietly, willing this conversation to end quickly so I could go home and retreat to being a hermit again. Maybe I should think about moving to a new place, although I doubt my landlord would be very happy. Plus the rental agreement had been for at least six months, so I guess I’m stuck here.  
“That explains it. Obviously something happened the other day because he wouldn’t tell me where it was exactly. He doesn’t know I’m here” Arin replied. I flicked my eyes up quickly to see whether he was still looking in my direction, and then immediately cast them back down as I met his for a second. Who does this guy think he is? He has no right to interrogate me; if Dan wanted to be such a little bitch about what I’d said he could come have it out with me himself. Who is this guy to come and make me justify my actions?  
After building up some courage thinking this to myself I exhaled and squared my shoulders up, looking him directly in the face to show he didn’t intimidate me.  
“Yeah? And what is it exactly you want?” I asked coldly, returning his steely gaze. His eyebrow rose in surprise at this sudden transformation I’d taken but he didn’t react more beyond that.  
“I just came to see what the problem was. Danny was pretty upset or mad about something, but he won’t tell me what it is. Which I’m surprised at since I thought you seemed were such a nice girl.” He replied, equally as coolly as I had. I narrowed my eyebrows.  
“Well you obviously got the wrong impression. I’m not interested in Dan; whatever it is he wants, I don’t want it. And I’m definitely not looking to be someone’s quick one night stand if that’s what he was after. I tried to tell him that but he couldn’t take the hint” I said casually, shrugging as if this conversation meant no big deal to me. I was lucky I was wearing a big leather jacket, as I’m sure my heart was beating so hard Arin probably could have seen it pulsing in my chest. I hated confrontation.  
Arin laughed sarcastically. “We both know that’s just a bullshit excuse Alice” he sneered. “Dan’s been my best friend for years, and I know there is no way he would have propositioned you for that, especially not in the two minutes it took for you to send him back in a foul mood, so get the fuck over yourself and don’t you dare try pull that crap with me. Whatever the fuck your problem is, I don’t care; just don’t come in here, and cause shit to upset my friends alright? And especially don’t accuse them of trying to fuck you when it’s pretty damn obvious they wouldn’t stoop to that!”. My eyes widened as his voice got louder towards the end of what he’d said. I know the decent, sensible thing to do would have been to admit that he was totally right, and apologise, but after years of training myself to be a bitch, I felt only rage burn inside of me.  
“And what the fuck does it have to do with you?” I shouted. A couple walking the road opposite us turned to glance our way but I ignored them. “Dan’s a big fucking boy; if he has a problem with me he can come and tell me himself. He doesn’t need to send his little bodyguard to come protect him! And anyway, why are you acting like you know me? You don’t know me, none of you do! So why are you all so obsessed with me? If you don’t like the way I act, you can just fuck off, I don’t have time for all this! Just leave me alone, the lot of you, stop coming to my house to tell me off like a fucking child in the middle of the streets. I’m an adult, I can do whatever the fuck I want; you’re not my mother and you’re not my friends!”.  
In my head I’d come off as powerful, and firm, like I didn’t give a fuck; but my ears definitely heard my voice begin to crack and wobble halfway through my speech, until eventually the last few words had come out almost as a half sob. I blinked away the extra moisture that had welled up in my eyes and threw back my hair in an attempt to draw attention away from the fact that I was on the verge of tears, but the softened look on Arin’s face told me he’d heard and saw everything.  
“What’s really going on here?” Arin asked in a much kinder and calmer tone than the one he’d used previously. “Look, whatever your problem is I’m sure-”  
“Don’t touch me” I growled as his arm had reached for my shoulder. He withdrew it quickly but continued none the less.  
“Danny was just looking out for you. Actually, the main reason I came here today was because he just wanted to know that you had gotten home okay in the dark; I didn’t come here to scream at you. But he’s too stubborn to come and see for himself, and he’ll kill me if he knows I’m here, but I don’t like seeing him suffering in any way. He won’t tell anyone what you said”. Fuck, so I’d just told him what had happened without even needing to. God, why was this all so complicated? This is why I didn’t want friends. I sighed.  
“I’m okay” I said quietly. “I can look after myself, I’m not stupid.”  
“That’s not what either of us thinks. Dan likes to take it upon himself to look out for certain people, and for some reason you’re obviously one of them. Now I don’t know why that is, maybe he just thinks you’re vulnerable because you’re new here or something, I don’t know. But I know that after the way he reacted to whatever you said to him, he cared quite a bit; so I just wanted to give him some piece of mind, that’s all. You can work out whatever issue you have with him yourself”. He replied. The guilt came back, mixed with a tinge of fear.  
“I don’t need anyone to care about me, I’m fine” I said quietly again, although this time it barely came out louder than a whisper. Arin frowned.  
“Bullshit, everyone needs people to care about them. People can’t survive entirely on their own! And the girl I met the other day definitely didn’t give off whatever impression you’re trying to give off now, so I’m not buying that for a second” he laughed. I could no longer keep up the act. After thinking to myself for a few moments I admitted defeat and asked the question that had bugged me the last couple of days.  
“Is Danny okay?” I whispered again, shamefully not being able to face him any longer now that I know I’d lost against him. Arin snorted gently.  
“Well he’s living up more to my title of ‘grump’ than I am, but I’m sure whatever damage is done is reparable…Provided you do it face to face rather than through me”. He said. I backed up a few steps.  
“I can’t do that!” I whimpered but Arin merely raised an eyebrow.  
“You’ll damn right bet you will! I wouldn’t have come all the way here if I didn’t think you were that big a deal, but for some reason you are, and I can tell you do actually care, despite what you say. So come on, let’s go!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not entirely sure how correct all the grammar and structure is on this chapter, I was super tired writing this ;_; if anything doesn't make sense/is not clear, or you have any other comments, let me know! ^^


	9. IX

“Arin I’m really not sure this is a good idea” I said uneasily, struggling to keep up with his pace through the slowly darkening streets of LA. No matter how much I’d tried protesting, he just kept insisting I had to go with him RIGHT NOW, and that this couldn’t wait till tomorrow where I’d have time to prep myself or be involved in some sort of serious accident, or straight up just leave in order to get out of this ordeal. He just turned his head back and flashed me another grin, saying nothing. I huffed and begrudgingly turned after him as he turned a corner, a few steps ahead of me. I don’t really know why I was listening to him; he technically had no control over me. He’d oh-so graciously allowed me a couple of minutes in my apartment to quickly stash my shopping away before hurrying me out the doorway towards the house he shared with his wife whom I’d never met. We passed a city bus just pulling up at the stop beside us and I half contemplated just jumping on swiftly and escaping before he’d even noticed I’d gone. I studied the driver of the bus, wondering whether he seemed the type to give a girl a free ride, (since in Arin’s haste to usher me out the doorway I’d left my purse) but found that my feet just kept continuing trying to catch up with Arin. Almost as if he could read my mind, he turned back again to check I was still there and laughed at the obvious scowl I must have had on my face.  
“Cheer up, it’ll be fine. He’ll be glad to see you, that’ll ease the tension at least a little bit” Arin smiled. I failed to agree, and instead just chewed my lip nervously in response.  
Before long we stopped outside a neat little suburban house surrounded my neatly trimmed bushes and fairylights around the front door. Arin swung to face me.  
“Well, here we are!” he said over-enthusiastically, throwing his arm toward the house like a magician does to a magic trick. I smiled weakly despite the awful churning in my stomach that had increased in violence our whole way up here. Arin clapped a hand on my shoulder roughly in an attempt of comfort. He walked up the meticulously pebbled pathway to the front door and I shuffled after him nervously, willing my feet to point in any direction other than the one they seemed to be intent on following. He stopped at the white painted doorway and fumbled in the lock with his key before I finally found my voice. I quickly reached out and covered his hand with my own to stop him. He looked at me.  
“Arin please, I really can’t do this!” I pleaded one last time, internally cursing as I felt my eyes fill up with moisture. I blinked furiously. He blew out air loudly and slowly.  
“Seriously, it’ll be okay. He’s not one to hold a grudge” Arin reassured me, turning the key in the lock underneath my hand. He pushed the door open and my heart sunk as I was about to step through the doorway, when a loud chorus of laughter and voices from inside froze me in my tracks. I stared at Arin wide-eyed and instinctively took a step back shielding my chest with my arms.  
“There are other people in there?!” I gasped. Arin rubbed the back of his neck.  
“Yeah, everyone’s here filming for a Grumps video. I guess I lost track of time or something…look don’t panic, I’ll go in and get him to come out here, just hang tight and don’t run off!” he disappeared inside the house. I heard the voices inside increase in volume obviously from seeing him enter whichever room they were all situated in before the hubbub died down abruptly at what I assumed was him mentioning my presence. I scanned the darkened streets around me again trying to mentally plan an escape route, but I’d spent the whole walk over here so busy trying to focus on what to say, that I’d not memorised where we were walking and if I left now, I knew I’d get hopelessly lost.  
As the minutes passed by whilst I waited for Danny to appear, the air around me grew colder and darker. I shivered as a breeze blew against me, and pulled my leather jacket tighter around my shoulders to try and conceal more warmth. He obviously didn’t want to come out and talk to me. I tried craning my neck around the door to see if I could see anyone, but only a small section of the wooden floored, carefully decorated hallway were there.  
More minutes ticked by slowly and I figured he wasn’t coming out. I glanced once more in the hallway, then turned and slowly made my way back down the path, squinting down the street to try and decipher which direction we’d come in. Suddenly a tall, skinny figure also dressed in a leather jacket brushed past me silently and began walking across the road onto the grassy embankment opposite the house. Dan’s curly hair swayed gently as he walked away without a glance backwards. He’d obviously seen me, so where was he going? Was I supposed to just leave or go after him? Did he really not want to talk to me that badly? He reached the top of the embankment and just as I waited for him to disappear out of sight altogether he looked back over his shoulder at me, unsmiling.  
“Well? Are you coming or not?” he asked solemnly. I quickly crossed the road and scrabbled up the grass after him, converses slipping on the slightly dewy surface. He’d carried on walking and didn’t show any signs of slowing for me, so I quickened my pace to match his. I fell into his step beside him and for a few moments none of us said anything, we just walked as I tried to read his face for any sign of emotion or clue as to what I was meant to say here. His eyes never strayed from staring directly ahead of him. This was beyond awkward; I was well and truly out of my comfort zone. Dan sighed into the air.  
“If this is supposed to be your apology then I gotta tell ya, it’s not a very good one” he said, still looking straight ahead of us. I nervously rubbed my hand on my right arm over my jacket.  
“I guess I’m not really used to apologizing to people. I’ve never really had to do it before…” I replied lamely.  
“So I should feel special to be the only person whose head you’ve bitten off? Or honoured at the fact that I’m currently within your presence?” he asked bitterly, eyes not leaving the road. I furrowed my eyebrows, prepared to argue back, but remembered that was what had gotten me into this situation in the first place, and that in reality I probably deserved that. Dan glanced at me quickly out the corner of his eye. I stopped walking and after a couple of steps, so did he.  
“I’m sorry”. I said simply, shoving my hands into my pockets. Dan didn’t turn around, but kept silent for me to continue. “I shouldn’t have said the things I said to you, you were just being friendly, and I know that. I was totally out of line and I was ungrateful. I…I was a bitch to you. I’m just…I’m not…” I sighed. “I’m not used to having people being nice to me okay? I don’t have any friends, I barely have any family…People I know just leave me you know? And at first, I wasn’t okay with it, but after a while, you get used to it, and that’s how I am now. I just have me, I don’t have anyone else. I…” I paused again, wondering whether I’d gone too far but my mouth opened up again of its own accord. “I had a friend once. I had a few, but…there was one. Her name was Jade and she was practically family to me, like she was basically my sister, and we did everything together. We planned all this crazy stuff we were going to do with out lives, and all the stuff we were going to see…I mean I only moved out here because it was her plan to begin with! We were best friends since primary school, we did everything together, and she like…she could make me into this person that I just wasn’t when I wasn’t around her. Like she gave me all this confidence and character! But then, one day…she was seeing this guy right? Her ex, and we both knew he wasn’t good for her, but she couldn’t help herself. Anyway they were at this party and I cancelled on her because I just hated being around him so much, I mean, he was such a _dick_! Well they obviously got into some sort of argument on the way home, and he’d been drinking and he was driving, which he shouldn’t have been! So they were going too fast down this round, something stupid like 80 miles an hour in a 30 zone and, well…” at this point the words were just tumbling out of my mouth in one go, and I couldn’t stop them. My brain had lost all recognition of what a filter was and this constant stream of babbling just kept coming as my voice began to shake. I hated this part the most. “he…he was obviously like completely angry or crazy or whatever, and he just drove into the path of an oncoming van and he just went straight into it. Like the car was completely destroyed, and…and firemen had to come and cut them out of there and they…they said it was such a bad crash they could barely recognise t-that what was inside were human b-bodies and…and-” my voice lost all comprehensibility as it spilled over into hysterics as my heart splintered and broke deep inside my chest, stabbing me sharply in the lungs making it hard to breathe. My tears streamed down my cheeks and slipped through the air, plopping silently on the pavement beneath my feet. I buried my face in my hands to try and stifle my sobs as they racked my body, making my shoulders shake. “If…if I had just stopped being such a s-stupid, selfish, stubborn _cow_ and gone w-with them, I could’ve driven her home! Then she would never have gotten in that car with him and sh-she wouldn’t have died, but it was all my fault; mine! I killed her! I-”  
I stopped abruptly as I felt arms encircling my shoulders and something hard and warm pressed against my face. I raised my head slightly to find my cheek resting on Danny’s chest as his hands gently pressed against my head, stroking my hair slowly. I let go of trying to control my crying and wailed loudly against his chest, my face contorted in reflection of the pain and anguish I felt inside of me. My cheeks were drenched in my salty tears and wisps of my hair stuck to them as I sobbed, a hand balled tightly against Dan’s chest, gripping a section of his T-shirt in my hand. His fingers moved gently over my right temple, and he brushed away the hair matted against my face, gently making soothing sounds against the top of my head, like you see a mother do to a crying child.  
“Shhh…shhh. Alice, it’s okay, don’t be stupid; it wasn’t your fault.” He whispered softly as my tears continued. “You seriously can’t blame something like that on yourself. I’m sorry about what happened, but millions of factors go into circumstances like that, you can’t hold yourself solely responsible for what happened to your friend!”  
“But it’s true!” I wailed, banging my fist against Danny’s chest. “I’m the only one that could’ve stopped her, but I failed! I let her die! And I just…I can’t be hurt by people like that again; I can’t go through all that horrible pain! So it was easier to just be alone and isolate everyone from me. But then I met you and your friends and I kind of…got so lost in company that it was too late and when you offered to walk me home I realised and I just panicked and lashed out. You didn’t deserve it, nor Arin. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I just thought if I was nasty to you you’d all leave and I could be alone again; then I…I wouldn’t have to go through the possibility of having friends who one day might leave me again!” I blurted. Danny stayed silent for a few seconds, before I heard a deep rumbling in his chest, and he sniggered in my ear. I managed to tear my head away from his chest and wipe my eyes quickly to peer up at his face, bewildered. Was he laughing?  
“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, I just,” he covered his mouth to try and stop his giggling. “It’s just that that is a whole lot of crazy to take in at once. Alice, you can’t seriously expect to spend the rest of your life not trusting people enough to make friends ever again, can you? I mean eventually you were going to meet people you had to let in to your crazy little bubble, it’s how humans work! We need company at some point. And it looks like us guys came along just in time, by the sounds of it you’ve been building all this irrational stuff up inside you for god knows how long!”  
“Three years” I sniffed. His eyes widened slightly and he pushed my head back against his chest, and rested his head on top of it.  
“I wasn’t expecting to suddenly become a permanent fixture in your life ya know? Hell, after I said goodbye to you at your place I just figured you would always just be the crazy British girl I found crawling on the floor in Ikea one day.” I gigged slightly. “But then when me and Arin almost killed you in the supermarket I figured it was some weird little fate thing, so I asked you to come hang out with us because I knew you were alone and new here. And then I figured you were pretty cool and I just wanted to make sure nothing bad happened to you on your way back, because seriously, these streets can get pretty risky at night, especially for someone who doesn’t know the area very well. And I would have never…ya know…tried anything with you. I’m not that sort of person to take advantage like that-”  
“I know” I whispered thickly as I rubbed my nose. “I knew you weren’t then, I don’t know why I said that. I think I was just trying to be as bitchy as possible. I didn’t think you’d be as hurt by that as you were. I am sorry; I really didn’t mean to upset you”. Dan groaned above me.  
“I’m seriously gonna fucking kill Arin” he muttered, and I laughed again. I sniffed loudly and then cautiously allowed my free arm to slip around to Danny’s lower back, to awkwardly try and return the hug he was giving me. We stayed like that silently for a while, before Danny patted my shoulder gently and he stepped back. We both looked at each other and smiled weakly. I tried rubbing the underneath of my eyes in an attempt to remove any traces of water-smudged mascara but the sudden absence of heat I’d previously had from being pressed so close against Dan suddenly became obvious and I shivered.  
“We should head back, the others will probably be wondering whether we’ve killed one another or not. That is…only if you want to of course” Danny said kindly. I blushed but nodded my head, and rubbed my hands together to generate some heat friction. He swung a skinny arm over my shoulder and began leading us back in the direction towards the house.  
“Come on Ally, let’s go formally introduce you to the crazy house. You haven’t met Suzy yet, but I’m sure she’ll love you. She’s always desperate for new girls to hang around with” he said cheerily. I winced at the sound of the nickname that I had only ever allowed Jade to call me by, but found surprisingly, I didn’t mind the way the words sounded on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like that was really long and waffely- but hey. Comments appreciated ^^

**Author's Note:**

> If there are any mistakes please let me know, I am editing this on my tablet ;_;


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